No pictures?

by Tilly Nichols

So as me and Art go backwards to tell our story, I couldn't help but notice one thing. I thought, "Hey, I should post some pictures of us when we were high. A sort of Before and After type thing", but then I remembered a marvelous twist5ed irony called the Dope LIE! See I have no pictures of when I was high. In fact I have little to show for my high...maybe a half a poem scrawled on a phone bill, for a phone we couldn't keep turned on for more than a month, or maybe a pencil drawing of some nameless face on the back of a place mat..... I have my memories though right? Well maybe a few....but when I really think about the great high times, they all ended in scenes like the one a few months back, when Art and I partied my whole check away on a grand tour of casino emotional roller coasters....oh man....the puddle of tears we woke up in, all junked out, engine running in the parking garage of some casino 150 miles from home and no gas or money as usual....not the first time we found our fun in creating drama to no end....the sick and twisted drama ewe wove like blankets around us...but they did little to keep us warm, camping in the CDF parking lot a month earlier, the last time we pulled this trick haha. Or don't forget him begging for a needle or an issue while I sped out of the driveway without him, leaving him alone while I tore off with his friends, and the dope....simply because he was so doped out he was trying to go to town barefoot haha..wow...the "bite marks" from when he scraped my hand "helping me open the car door" after pushing me down..... typical dope hate So then back to that big dope lie I lived, I am onto it now....I see what I fell for and the weakness I posessed when I believed it....and Where did I find the truth...when did I see the light? How did I find my way home? Well I decided Art was a junkie, and he had to change or I couldn't be with him.... haha....and I couldn't expect him to quit alone...so I let another lie fix the first lie....sick aint I....then once I cleared up for a few days, I saw the real picture....the sickness I saw in him when he begged and screamed for a needle, my dope....it was only a mirror to the sickness I saw within me.....thank God I cared about him so much...because I never would have seen my own disease......so much has changed......28 days and strong.