by Tilly NicholsToday moms husband Johnnie came to me after the bible study at church, and had tears flowing from his eyes. He grabbed my shoulders and told me in tears said "you two better not let me down" And at that moment it hit me if he lost faith in us, who knows if it would ruin his "faith" as a whole. This 80 something year old retired military man, who was raised right here in this valley I now farm, was looking to me to hold his faith safe....what a responsibility. Now if people counting on me or believing in me was all I needed to do well, I 100 times would have made different choices. I have let so many people including myself down. This time though I was brought to tears...I went and stood outside the church in the shadows and realized 2 out of the three conversations I could hear were about us, and how we symbolized a new faith for some of these aged parishioners, and I realized I cant lose any faith in myself and I owe a bit of non dissapointing sucess to the world. So many have lost faith from my actions and now I have to chose to restore faith...in others lives, in my own... one thing clearly came from tonights bible study and events with the church parish.... I am a part of a family now. For this I am greatful, and I pray tonight I won't disapoint them, myself or my God.
I believe in you Tilly.When you think about everything you have been thru and all the strength it takes to survive all that its obvious you have the strength to make it this time.Evy always tells me that God had them open up the shop in Alpine just for me and my girls to find the church and I think its the same for you and Art. Theres a group of people who were put right there in your yard and they are all willing to love you and be there for you to lean on whenever you need strength.Dont forget that or be afraid to call on people for help or to talk.100 times a day if you need to.
ReplyDelete