alpine boulevard

Netflix and Rain

We Joined Netflix and I just found the new meaning of life. Rainy nights, watchin movies and painting our house. So fun. 7 months sober by the way. Can't beat that, eh? Check out this cool pic I did of Arturo! Sexy aint he....kinda got that Rasta thing goin on too, ya think?

Too Long

AFTER Workin hard, I love my big happy comfy couch!

OMG we make the best bloody Mary's Y'all!

I realized today that if I didn't blog I might as well quit. Our farm did its harvest thing. This was an early fall. The rain is here again. Hey does anyone remember the baby owl? It rained then too. Its cold, even. I have been remodeling like crazy. Ive got the insane hgtv and ace hardware hobby. Soon the house will be more fitting of our new lifestyle. I even have a plan for an add on to have a guest room...yippeee!!!!!!! I rarely change out of my paint clothes. I love it though. Total hermit though. I hate leaving. Well I guess I'm in the blog mode again. Hope you are well.

Smut

After several days of heavy reading...(c.s lewis mere Christianity, grapes of wrath, bible, etc) and a decent worship at church I admit it... I'm watching nothing but MTV smut all day. no lie. If I could hold food down Id eat a whole bag of chips...and a 2 liter of Pepsi....but I am still super sick.....sigh...and we have no food but veggies....tonight is food network night woo-hoo.

All Stars

Today I was watching mid day TV and a Local San Diego show called "one on one" came on. It was an insider look at the Chula Vista Little leaguers who won the 2009 world series.  I had heard about them last year. I guess everyone has. They made it to letterman. I guess the reason they struck me today, is when I saw the way these kids struggled. They are growing up in the hood...where the most desired goal is to be a gangsta thug....Where the value of a life is placed on ho's and rims....their families torn by poverty and crime. Then it hit me. One thing about human nature I have learned is that mediocrity isn't favored. These kids are super stars. Cinderella stories.....thats what we look for in our race. So here I am a child of mediocrity, I grew up in some ghetto fo sho....but then I was a middle class child of mediocre parents. These kids rocketed out of mediocrity....as a result of seeing some hard times....but what a challenge to someone like me to quit being mediocre out of laziness. These boys are adoreable though. Check out that show if it reruns.!!

Jesus Christ

Hi everyone. Its Friday night. I should be preparing for tomorrows farm stand. I have not. I am sick again. Being sick has made me come closer to terms with things as they are. We all know we are not permanent. If you are anything like me you struggle like hell to forget the reality of life....the eventual end...death. When you are sick, chronically sick, this reality becomes larger than life. Last week at the farm stand I overdid it for being just hospitalized....and regret it still. In my just out of the woods attempts to overcompensate and prove I am fine, when in fact my health is a real issue right now, I drove myself further into the pain which is my reality.  I have been reflecting a lot lately and tonight was a huge moment in my faith growing and my sudden craving to understand faith in Jesus. I received a book today. Art went on a tractor ride to a drug addicted loco friend of his trailer. He brought me an odd assortment of gifts...planters, flowers, old timey magazines, and one odd book...A christian woman "Anne Lamott" writing on "grace"  which is coincidentally the name of our church here on the ranch. I have read 127 pages in 2 hours. When Art brings me little gifts I feel him trying to help guide me out of pain and misery and self loathing which is my life. Most of the time I suck it up and pretend to be fine....and pass up  the wisdom contained in any of the miracle divinity contained with in his gifts .But this womans writing broke the levy of self pride and fear I am holding on to....I can honestly hold more personal truths today than yesterday because of this book.  My blood pressure won't go down, my meds make me sick,  I am in pain, I'm scared to death, I love my life and I am not ready to decline. I feel sadness and joy equally and simultaneously and am frantic to run from the end and would save myself at all costs....who wouldn't...... When I was at the hospital last week, I woke up to the sounds of a gurney and furniture moving around. I had been alone in the room for several hours. I could hear all the sounds of the standard admission  paperwork and the vital sign collections. When the husband of my new neighbor arrived I kindly offered my empty visitors chair to the family of the new tenant. Partly because I am nice whenever I can be, and partly because I knew I wasn't needing it...I spend my hospital admissions alone.  Throughout my last day in the hospital, I witnessed the sounds of this woman and her family learning she had terminal non-treatable cancer...and  suddenly it hit me today, I havent told anyone how hard this was for me....how much I just ignore what hurts and keep going like it never happened. How I have learned not to cry about missing my kids or having my undying love thrown away and my life torn from me.....How I have learned not to cry for my lost dreams broken friendships, debts, both mine and those due to me.  God forbid I have to look back and reckon...im not done undoing.....and I havent been allowed to sit back and enjoy my second third and fourth chance...at figuring out this great mystery of life....I am a little depressed tonight..... depressed I am being robbed again of simple joy...my life is fially perfect, yet I lie here vomiting and in pain....but to find a way out of pain regrets sorrow and fear...I felt a gush of relief at the thought of Jesus, greeting us on the other side...like an old friend....and after many years of doubt and standalone faith I understood the need to believe...in him. 

update

I  have so much to write about. We had our first farm stand with Eric this last weekend, and it was a hit. We didn't make much but we all had a great time introducing ourselves to new people and reconnecting with old ones. I am still not 100% from my last hospital stay and to be honest I feel like crap. I think I am honestly going through withdrawals all over again....either  from so long back, or from the hospital drugs. I cant do what I used to outside right now, and I can tell my lack of energy in the farm has affected everyones mojo. I am real tired and I hurt all over. I don't like taking the pills from the hospital.......not just pain ones but blood pressure and blood thinner ones...they make me feel yuck. I want a puppy worse than ever. You know they have proven small dogs cure stroke victims? I want a chihuahua, or Pomeranian, or min-pin ....anyone have a puppy for me? lol.... Art and I are both thinking a lot about our kids. Thats a good sign the drugs are really wearing off for both of us. I know in good time we can work it all out the way God intends it. I'm on dish strike again. I haven't done em in forever. Yuck huh. Although this all sounds rough, we really are doing fine. Hope to see you all on the farm.....we love visitors....

head of the Fat bellied crooktailed mews

home from club med

I am alive. I missed a week out of my life but survived a massive blood pressure rise. I feel woozy and medicated but happy enough. I have been really introspective and slightly paranoid, Its hard for me to read. All are side affects of the drugs I am on. I cant begin to sum up the whole experience but I can give a 2 cents from my side of life,.....that is to remember
LIFE IS SHORT
LOVE IS EVERYTHING
NEVER GIVE UP


I wish I could live forever..... Art says we will....Jesus said I will....and I am good with that. I am making chicken and noodle curry and plan to snuggle up to my hon and not take a second for granted. 


Love Always Tilly

Ebay

So we have begun our real plunge into an ebay consignment business. A few church parishoners have entrusted us to sell some items, and its not as easy as I thought. Theres a million problems in my book. First off, our computer screen is set up in our living room in a spot that is hard for me to see. We need a desk. My eyes hurt and Im getting a furrowed brow from squinting. The next problem is that although one persons trash is anothers treasure, finding those people and hooking them up is hard to cash in on. Then my biggest problem. I keep falling in love with the stuff haha...we are selling a near new vintage reccord palyer....and some awesome lps....star wars, tony bennett, old xmas songs, Maurice jarre, JFK tributes.....all soooo coool....an antique royal No 10 typewriter, stoneware oven safe dishes, brass lanterns from thailand....this is rediculously cool stuff my friends...yet no hits, and when it sells, I will be happy...but sad.... The farm is in full glory....been too busy learnin to ebay to take more pumkin baby pictures..the big max ones are at least 60 lbs or so.....we have squash out the wazoo, and my lil vanilla sunflowers finally bloomed. Everyone is happy on the ranch. Hope you are all well. oh yeah....email us if ya wanna buy our junk/treasure!

Its too hot to work outside today. Everything is in suspended motion floating in this muggy heat, that seems to be testing everybodies nerves. I read an article once about the effect of heat on violent crime. Cities like Phoenix and Albuquerque report a massive increase iin crime in the hottest months, and note the lack of air conditioning a likely cause for increased domestic disputes in poorer areas. Cities like New York, or Philadelphia request the national guard to be deployed in their aid if the temps exceed 94 degrees for 48 hours or longer. Me and Art however just wilt a little like our plants. Perhaps our life style helps us cope. We make our own schedule based on keeping comfortable and composed. On the ranch, not everyone is doing as well. There is change on our horizons....the way we both saw things in our dreams looms closer to the reality of the future of the ranch. I can write more another day, but for now stay cool my friends. And stay calm...this too shall pass.

For everything there is a season,

a time for every activity under heaven.

2A time to be born and a time to die.

A time to plant and a time to harvest.

3A time to kill and a time to heal.

A time to tear down and a time to build up.

4A time to cry and a time to laugh.

A time to grieve and a time to dance.

5A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.

A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

6A time to search and a time to quit searching.

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

7A time to tear and a time to mend.

A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

8A time to love and a time to hate.

A time for war and a time for peace.

new stuff

This must be "the dog days" of summer right? Dont tell me its gonna get hotter. Every day my plants go through this weird wilty look, as if I didn't water them...After the sun beats them all morning, the just let go of form and droop. Thats how I feel too. Today according to the Talamantes porch thermometer, it was 102 in the shade. Today a thunder storm rolled through.  The little rain that fell hit the hot ground and immediately turned to steam. It was the muggiest day I can remember.

my people

Most of my recent horoscopes have referenced "your people"....as in my people. I used to have people. Right now I have about 2 and 3/4 people according to my estimation. You know who you are. My people. Haha. I know that in some philosophical, mataphorical, hyponotic reality....live "my people" ...and they are coming. Short of the funny red kool-aid travel agency, lives a phrophetic magical christ-loving, godess worshipping, metaphysical, tarot reading, roulette loving, gypsy elf, fairy queen, baptist jew...and somewhere out there I have fallen in love with them...my people..the horoscopes acknowledge them, I feel them.....are you out there? People? hehe, I am barbequeing....mmmmmm.....c'mon over.....the koolaid is fine.

By Tilly Nichols
It dawned on me today my blog posts have been super abbreviated lately. I have become so obsessed with being outside, and moving around, I find it hard to sit still long enough to write much. I want to catch up a little today. Art and I are doing great. Our garden is growing so well. Even the old timers that come around insist we have something special as far as our green thumbs. When we arent in the yard, Art loves to dig for bottles, and we have inherited a stamp collection. Who knows the value, but I can say its very interesting to sort. We also watch a lot of animal planet and food network. Lately our big faves are next food network star,  top chef, hells kitchen, last american cowboy, whale wars, and of course all the CSI we can get. We are working tomorrow doing weed abatement.... and its heavy thick brush. We seem to enjoy the work though, and the money helps. We will be off meth for 100 days on the 3rd of July. So our independence day marks true independence from that poisonous trap. 

Approaching triple digit days

by Art Nichols 

    Today is June 28, 5 more days and we both hit 100 days into our new lives. To me, 100 days feels like 1/2 a year has gone by.  I have been really busy.  A friend of mine and myself, discovered an old root cellar and we have been digging up blanket loads of old bottles.  Talk about fun!  Now you see why I have not been posting much lately. The days go by fast and faster. This month of June, even though it is 1 day less the the rest of the months went by like it was 2 weeks.  

     I just received a box of old stamps from my mother and sister.  These stamps look old and the values are unknown.  My thought is these are very healthy hobbies for a person.  

By Tilly
I spand all my time working. I love it though. I cant get enough of it. There are baby plants everywhere needing love, and others blooming and fruiting giving back the love. We had over 30 quail in the sprinkler bathing today. Its dawning on me again what a blessed time of year I am in. The days are as long as they get, and nights are short and sleep is deep, since we work so hard by day. Amazing how in 6 months the nights will be so long and the days so short. I have watched the moon all month too. Just another awareness i have gained from this experience. We have church tomorrow and praise hour at night.

More Pumpkins Please

The day after tomorrow is the last possible date to plant pumpkins for the season. Any later and the crop will suffer. I have one last packet of seeds. For me planting pumpkins has been so fun, and meant so much to me . The last few months would have been much harder  had I not  found my love for pumpkin farming. Art and I are 91 days clean today, and we are super involved in the farm, and Art is really busy collecting old bottles he and Eric are digging up from the old root cellar his dad buried in the 50's. Rabbits ate all the cantaloupes and beans. They too must be in the ground within 48 hours or so, if I want them to do good. I cant believe how fast the days go by. I have been watching the lunar cycle this month, because I see the moon every afternoon rising above my garden. It was such a sliver and now almost full again. Art is too busy with all the cool bottles to blog much....but me him, and mango and melon are all happy healthy and enjoying these first few days of summer. 

Fear

 “Perfect love drives out fear.” (1 Jn. 4:18)
Today Art might be running some errands in town, going with some friends. Crazy me freaked out inside worrying, what if they crash, what if they get in trouble, what if they get high, and as the very familiar feeling of fear welled up in me, I turned to the bible and found this quote. Once it put things in perspective for me, I lost all anxiousness entirely. We have visitors on the ranch today. Plants goin in like crazy, and our craigslist/recycling business is still pulling a solid lead in the income area. Church tomorrow. Keep checkin back, chickens are still coming.

Insane Green thumbs!

By Tilly
We got insane green thumbs. When we began in March I feared death in our farm plants, but nope we got green thumbs like no-one i ever met. Art is outside cutting a new plant area....if you could only see the insanity, or sheer beauty of the amount of plants we now foster. Life is everywhere, and 90 days clean creeps up. I am blissful, introspective, prayerful, saved, forgiven, and in love. I have learned to love even more through these green babies we birth, almost passionately. Art bought me more pumpkin seeds with our paycheck from yesterdays labor. I have gone through a dozen packs at least....our plants are in the higher 2000's now! Our craigslist retail side business is taking off...its so fun learning how god chooses to bless us...but we continue to survive, and eke out a sober livin here on the ranch doin what comes natural and what feels right. We are a well oiled machine these days. Im so proud. Keep checkin back, we might be gettin  some chickens!

Imagine that

      BY TILLY NICHOLS

Today I stayed indoors most of the day. That almost never happens. Tomorrow we have to work, so it will be two days I haven't been in the garden. Even though I have let up on the hard labor some, we are eating our ranch grown veggies now. We have had lemons, radishes, beets, sugar peas, jalapeno, Serrano, basil, mint, and zucchini. I have been trying to get the house in order, and the kitchen has taken days. I can hardly imagine we are on day 83. A week away from the elusive 9o days. It has been awesome. I find so much joy in our simple life. Even the earthquake last night hardly messed with me like usual. Tomorrow will be hot and our job doing manual labor gets tough, but the money is nice, and anything we do together is bearable. I made Art a great bag lunch, and mint iced lemon tea all from the garden. 7 hard hours at sunrise. Ill take photos and see y'all tomorrow.

77

By Tilly
Its a quiet day on the Ranch. I am here alone, and I love that. I am working on the rental, doin laundry, watering, and feelin like a cowgirl. Art and Eric are out hiking, and have been digging up old bottles from an abandoned root cellar on the ranch. life is real good and I remain focused as far as being clean, and can't wait to see my kids. Time just  zooms by. I have so much I need to do and even though the days are longer and summer makes its mark, I crave more long summer days . Winter might be odd for us after getting so used to being outside all the time.  I feel so peaceful here though, especially on these days I am  farmer in charge, haha.  Well I better get back to work cleaning the rental. 

Peace within, peace without.

Today began with the end of my two day long headache, and a few new clothes. Along with the clothes, and the characters that brought them, came a lot of food for thought. I feel like our sobriety is part of a larger scale picture as I felt compelled to try to help persuade this girl to clean up off Meth....either that or I just climbed on some huge box of soap and need to hurry down? Who knows. I cant remain silent about my decision not to tweak. I have been buying more seeds so I have a lot of work outside. Its hot, and summer has crept in.

So Happy

By Tilly Nichols
My last post wasn't my most positive one. I need to catch up although the farm is calling me. The days are getting hot, and everything needs work...its a race to keep it all alive. I couldn't imagine taking a vacation now. Even though its all been so much to do Art and I took some of our hard earned money (yes weve been blessed enough to make some) and we went to San Diego. We had a blast walking through Logan, Eating Tamales, cruising seaport village, wandering the midway and all the military memorials, looking at the modern art along the waterfront, watching the planes land at Lindbergh field, happy hour at Fat City Steakhouse, a walk through little Italy and lastly dinner and beers in the Gas-lamp. All this on the bus and trolley. I have never been so tired in my life, but what a blast I had. We do manage to get off the farm now and then, even if its only to the little lake to feed the ducks (at Art's insistence) Things have never been this right for me. I love Art, I love pour farm, our kitties, Mom and Johnnie, goin to church and dreaming. Even the pastor has said thats enough right now. Any demons I have to slay and ultimate battles between good and evil we intend to fight, can wait. Why spoil the times that I am learning just what a perfect peace I am fighting for.

by Art Nichols

Today is May 31, Memorial Day.  Today Tilly and I harvested these white radishes. All the sudden they got big. Yep, today is a good day.  We both have reached 67 days clean of hard drugs and life is great and it gets better every day.  Together, Tilly and I are an unstoppable team.  I would have never believed we could do the things we are doing.  I only would have daydreamed this and then wrote off the image as fast as I focused on whatever was going on. Dreams do come true.--Our cats are like our kids they are brother and sister and they love each other. They hunt together and watching them explore the world is one of the funnest things to do.  Here's an excellent picture of some small box blue agave and mostly some variegated American agave.  We were hoping possibly to trade them for a goat.